Tasting, seeing and doing...

10/90, 30/70, 50/50/.

What am I?


Monday's small group was interesting and the message for me as well...Following along the lines of an undivided heart.. GOd showed me how much I'm submitting to him in obedience.. I think I'm only 30/70.

I've been challenged so much in Hebrews Chapter 6..

Indeed.. I've tasted and seen and I know that My Lord is good.. He has always been good to me. So why do I keep falling away.. I've learnt to trust that Jesus is just so good.. and that hope in him is more secure than any anchor in the world..

"O come and mourn with me awhile,O come near to the Savior’s side
O come together, let us mourn,Jesus our Lord is crucified.

2. Seven times He spoke seven words of love;
And all three hours His silence cried
For mercy on the souls of men;
Jesus our Lord is crucified.

Chorus: O love of God! O sin of man!
In this dread act Your strength is tried;
And victory remains with love;
Jesus our Lord is crucified!

3. O break, O break, hard heart of mine!
My weak self-love and guilty pride
His Pilate and His Judas were:
Jesus our Lord is crucified.
O come and mourn with me awhile!

4. A broken heart, a fount of tears,
Ask and they will not be denied;
A broken heart love’s cradle is:
Jesus our Lord is crucified.
Jesus our Lord is crucified

And victory remains with love;
Jesus our Lord is crucified!"

Its written by Federick Faber.... in the 19th Century... He was a Catholic priest.

I'm heading towards a very trying time.. leading this week and my focus and seems like i've been hit left-right centre. Which is why I'm really thankful that God is calling me to obedience because even if that is a very hard thing to do.. its going to keep me safe.. My emotions are getting hit quite a bit I must say...And someone's bearing the brunt of it..

I've tasted love...its sweet.. Thanks Danny for the excellent reminder in the song.. "He is my everything" on Sunday...

Dear Lord, You are my everything, you are my all, you are my everything both Great and small, you gave your life for me, made everything new, you are my everything, you are my all. Yes I've tasted and seen that my Lord is good.. Amen.

http://ruf.org/sounds/mp3/OComeAndMourn.mp3

Here the hymn....

Heart

Wonder ? What one would call this picture? A broken heart?

Yes ... if it was God's heart.. For that’s the condition of my heart.. Divided...

“Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." Psalm 86:11

That was the theme throughout the whole day.. Even in small group..
I really wished to have my heart devoted to God only.. When he showed me the condition of my heart.. I knew I had to change..

TO CHANGE I MUST.... WITH HIS HELP I WELL....

Perhaps this is what he meant by a broken heart... mended only by true love..

To have a heart that’s wholly devoted to God.

Exhaust....

Tiring... tiring... I'm just so exhausted.

Its been such a long day.. and I'm just so drained.. but as always satisfied. Couldn't blog last night cause was doing stuff... for Sunday. and I spent the whole day out.

I noticed something... I'm actually not too affected even though the T-shirts were not in order, there were many things going on at the same time. I'm just cruising. Sat through the basic leaders training workshop today... and boy I'm always learning something new each time. ...

Surrender to Love

Just finished my assignment on Surrender to love....

Indeed God has brought me such a long way, ok maybe the distance to me seems long to him. But thinking back on just a few months ago, I had stopped crying for the past 13 years of my life. I'm just so thankful.

Today.. I was reminded so much of God's love..


My heart is filled with thankfulness
My heart is filled with thankfulness to him who bore my pain
Who plumbed the depths of my disgrace and gave me life again
Who crushed my curse of sinfulness and clothed me in his light
And wrote his law of righteousness with power upon my heart.

My heart is filled with thankfulness to him who walks beside
Who floods my weaknesses and strengths and causes fear to fly
Whose every promise is enough for every step I take
Sustaining me with arms of love and crowning me with grace.

My heart is filled with thankfulness to him who reigns above
Whose wisdom is my perfect peace, whose every thought is love
For every day I have on earth is given by the King
So I will give my life, my all, to love and follow him Stuart townend

I'm just so thankful... could you imagine.. it is equally possible for God to come to this earth to force us all to believe.. but what would that be.... Which is why his love is so amazing... As PolyCarp the great church forefather said before being matyred on his refusal to deny christ...

“ Eighty-six years have I served him, and he has done me no wrong, How then can I blaspheme my king who saved me?”

I've met true love and I simply cannot deny him. ..... I love you Jesus

Come let us Sing!!!

Just came back from my lunch at 1800hrs... cause it was raining so heavily just not that I cannot go....

Anyways.. I had choir today.. It was the first time I sang with all 4 parts since 1998.... After quitting then I secretly told myself.. I would NEVER go back to singing in the choir again.. NEVER!!

God is funny sometimes... I'm now singing in the school choir and I must say He redeemed it for me....

As I stood amongst the people.. I actually enjoyed the sounds.. I gave thanks for if I had not gone for training before this would all have been so so sianz..

You know.. choir has a lot of lessons to teach a Christian..


1. We must listen to the conductor. (God)
2. We must listen to one another to produce a uniform sound. (Care for brothers and sisters)
3. We need to be still and obedient. (Wait upon the Lord)
4. We need to be disicplined.

Yes indeed choir is all about discipline. I was amazed that I just so wanted to sing.. to sit still and listen and pay attention by looking at the conductor. Normally I would be happy to sing bass and slack but this round i was asked to sing tenor and I throughly enjoyed it even though my stomach was killing me.

"10Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. "

Hebrews 12:10-11

Dear God.. You have indeed prepared so many things for me in my life. I pray that I would follow the example of Your son to be disciplined and to follow after you for I know that I would experience the joy that comes from intimacy with you.

Looking for lost sheep

Yesterday taught me a very important lesson... but first a question? Can we imagine ourselves looking for a lost sheep as Jesus did?

It started with a sms.. saying that her phone was dying.. and she was lost in Radin Mas.. So I got off the bus and looked around... Walked here and there looking out in the dark of night...

Then I started to pray.... even as I walked around. Then the voice came..
"You know how I feel when you were lost?" Yah.. I guess.... Especially when I was found i still walked away.... I am sorry God..
Then the call came.. "She' safe in the house."Ha! thats great.... She found her way somehow... Not by what I did ... God. Its by you who draw the sinner's back.. we can only be faithful in doing what we can...

"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it." John 10: 11-12

Dear Lord, teach me obedience.... and bring me back when I am astray.... For I know you will not let me go..Amen

Sunday...

I woke up dark and early despite having only 4 hrs of sleep... Yawn.. As usual.. a quick 15 mins saw me scooting out of the house to cab to church.

Then it rained... cats and dogs... I tried flagging for a cab at a bus stop.. dunno whats the problem but empty cabs which saw me drove pass.. then came one but a bus blocked its way.. then another was "intercepted" by another guy.. yikes. half and hour later.. I was furiously mad.. Here i was trying to get to church early.. and all these had to happen... I left...

10 seconds later.. it dawned upon me.. "Melvin, where were the prizes you were going to get for the kids?" Yikes.. humbled iwas.. for I told myself I would get it from the 7-11 this morning.
And even funnier.. I grabbed lollipops and placed it at the counter and this lady said, "For Sunday school?" with a knowing look.. wow!!!..

Having paid.. I rushed to another bus stop.. and waited.. then an elderly couple came. I asked "Taking a cab?" "Yes.. going to church.. Are you?" Yes.. of course.. if I had not gone through the ordeal earlier I would have just hopped on and gone first... but I flagged a cab for them.. before getting mine 5 minutes later..

So here i was reaching church at 705 when I could have reached at 630.... funny thing was there were only 6 kids in the end and all came late.. was all the preparation wasted? Nah.. in a funny way... I learnt so many things..

Dear Lord.. I really need to control my temper to forgive and to love..

A very long day...

Hmmm... my legs ache...

Its a very interesting so full of activity and a very important learnt.

Tonight was lantern festival in church... it was great to play with the band.. I'm glad that nicholas is improving.. he's been very faithful in service.


See the picture.. the theme today was "this little light of mine I'm gonna let it shine.." That was what me and dajie gave to the kids... Yes, let our light shine....

"For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." Ephesians 5: 8-15

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4: 31-32

I need to learn to forgive... Thats what i need.. Pray until you forgive.

Its all part of loving..

After Greek...

Just came out of my Greek mid-years... Someone said, " The test is 2hrs long.. we should finish in about an hour."

I stepped out in 20 minutes...

I always hated languages.. but well..

Today I woke up feeling so tired. It was one of those late nights again.. two nights of intense work and 2 wakes.
The challenge for me is to sit down quietly and read my book and just be with God. I really need to do that. There are piles of assignments to do.. so many readings to read.. but there are things that need to come first. God. I'll do that.. just wait on him.... cause if I came to know all knowledge in school yet forget my maker.. what good will that be?

Amazing Grace how sweet the sound.. that saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now i see...

Ephesians 3

It's been 2 early classes in a row... and i just came back from Church music ministry. On my way to school today God reminded me of the verse in Ephesians 3: 16 -21"

" I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

I heard "There is a hope so sure" by Graham Kendrick and "I need thee every hour" by Jars of Clay. And the surprising thing was ... Dr Violet James shared on the same passage and how Christ is in us. As she shared and prayed, I cried...

! very important thing I learnt is if my spirit is tuned with God.. I am more sensitive to him.... During the pre-"chapel.. The violinist and pianist played so beautifully.. and I was so minsitered that I cried again.... Indeed..

"8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast. 10For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. " Ephesians 2: 8-10

I am once again reminded of my purpose in Christ.. and yes I need him every hour....