I confess

This probably is a prayer that should have been prayed long ago...... Yet...... it seems strange to pray it.

"Dear Lord............ .................. ....................... I've nothing to say which is wierd because I speak so much and I speak to much. But in front of you.... I am humbled quietened for there is nothing to say. You know my heart... the vileness of it. The thoughts that rage in my head, the bondages that hold me. You know my innermost being, the various things done in your name, yet the various intentions behind them. Lord, I know myself... andyet i don't know... I can only pray for grace as I seek to see my faults and blindspots. Father I remember the challenge to be faithful, yet how difficult it is to be faithful when being certain of the uncertain is there. Lord, how difficult it is to love when the minute a harsh word comes out it becomes that of hate. Yet You hate us....... and you loved us. Lord I don't really want theology anymore.... I only want to know that as much as I try, I cannot speak enough. My mind is finite, my words are few, my actions are condemning me. So i can only rely on you. Thus lord, lead my life each day into surrender, into something more than passion and obssession as the world sees it, lead me to understand your steadfast love and what that entails. Lord I will and want to continue to remember your goodness and faithfulness and I want to endure the pain that comes from sharing you with others. I want to forsake my sinful ways.

Lord that is my desire, despite of its faults and its imperfection. Oh Lord Help me walk through the narrow path that follows after the narrow gate that i may come to know you.....

I come to you in Jesus name... Amen